Goodbye for now~!

Goodbye for now everyone~! I'll see ya all in 2 months ^^ Dont think I'm going to make a new blog, so just email me at j_song13@hotmail.com , just don't write about christian stuff or any locations Im at.

I'll miss you all ^^ Take care and don't forget me now haha.

Love Love

Last day in Hawaii before China/Japan

LAST DAY!! FINALLY IS HERE!! TOOK LONG ENOUGH!!! BUT IS FINALLY HERE!!

I'll be leaving at 4:30am tomorrow morning, but most likely won't sleep or I'd probably wake up late ><; Just gunna stay up all night and count down the hours haha.

We'll be stopping off in Japan first from 1pm-9:30am the next day, so we'll be staying at a hotel nearby the airport. We're thinking of going and exploring a little bit in Tokyo and buying a meal there ^^.

It's one of my many goals in life to go to Japan, so I guess I can finally check this one off my list ^^. Some other random ones I can think of is....
-Go to Australia and visit the Hillsong church
-Go to Texas and visit the Lakewood church
-Go to Korea and visit 5 of the biggest churches in the world
-Go to Egypt and explore the pyramids, and try to climb up one
-Go to Rome and see the Colosseum and eat real pasta
-Eat dog meat and other weird animals (might get to check this one off in China)
-Own a professional level guitar
-Have my first new hairstyle
-Create a band and record a CD
-Have an open vision from God
-Perform a miracle
-Get married
-Etc etc etc

Anyways, this marks a huge milestone in my life because I'm going to be going confidently and without fear into a place that should be feared haha. I'm just going to trust that God loves me enough to keep me safe, cuz He's already been good enough to give me the opportunity to live in Hawaii for 3 months, and then go to Japan and China! What a good God my God is xD. So glad I'm on His side haha.

Anyways, none of you will see me (most likely) for 2 months, so keep praying for me and wishing me luck xD. I'll contact everyone when I can and give an update when I can ^^.

I wish you all the best and I love you all ^^ God bless ya~

2 more days as of now

2 more days in Hawaii and then off to Japan/China we go. Monday we have a Love Feast which is like an end of the lecture phase party. We're supposed to dress up, but I don't have any nice clothes at all x.x; I didn't think to bring any before I came cuz I thought they said to bring sucky clothes that we wouldn't mind getting dirty. Apparently they said to dress up a bit for China too (not sure about Japan, but I'm guessing moreso). I guess I'm going to go extreme shopping in China and buy a lot of cheap decent quality clothes for factory price, heck ya xD haha.

I was talking to some people that went there, and this guy was saying he got Diesel clothes for $10!! In Canada, Diesel is a famous brand and sells for usually $100-500 for regular clothing :O! I so want to buy a suitcase and fill it up haha. "I'm here for missions, I'm here for missions, I'm here for missions, I'm here for missions @.@;"

My brother said there's this yellow dust that's been blowing in Korea and Japan. It's apparently from all the pollution in China, and he said in China it gets so thick that you cant see in front of you >.<; It causes lung problems...so hopefully my lungs will be ok...after all they've already been through. I better not end up in the hospital during this missions trip! God heal me!!

Well randomness, but apparently a Korean guy went to Japan to marry his life size pillow with an anime character on it. There's so many things wrong with that statement. First he just HAD to be Korean, second he married his pillow and takes it everywhere he goes, third the anime character is from a children's show about a girl with magical powers (kind of like sailor moon I think), fourth the anime character is like a little kid, fifth Japan actually allows marriages to pillows...etc. Man, our trip to Japan should be interesting haha.

I was talking with some of the white people from my group and told them about the above story and they were like o.O;!!! haha. I also told them some guys look/dress like girls and they were telling me they thought anime was like the weirdest thing haha. Kiley told me that there's a section of Tokyo that's all dedicated to Anime, so maybe I'll go check that out if I remember and see how many old men I see walking around with anime pillows haha.

Well I gotta wake up early on Monday so I'll post more later, see ya all and God bless ^^

Departure of friends

So yesterday me and 4 others went out to BubbaGump restaurant. If you've seen the movie "Forrest Gump" then you know what I'm talking about. It's a Seafood (mostly shrimp) restaurant and we ordered A LOT. One of us was going to be going back to California, so it was a lil goodbye party. Check facebook for some pictures (get a facebook shin!).

We then went to the farmer's market and the girl who was leaving got a Henna tattoo (non-permanent tattoo) of the Chinese letter for peace. We then met up with a man who works there that we met on our community outreach. I said hi and when I said his name, he was kind of shocked because he said his name is really hard to remember and barely anyone remembers his name's Sanzo. He was a really nice man and tried to give us a $5 bag of macadamia nuts for free, but I insisted to pay, so he told us to meet him again when we come back ^^.

When we got back, it was leaving time for my friend and also a DTS group with 2 of my roommates. Kind of sad, but it's all good, just gotta wait 2 and a half months to see them again. I'm really looking forward to hearing their stories cuz this DTS was totally on fire this whole past week, so should be interesting xD.

But all of them leaving is making me realize how soon all of us are going to be split up around the world. Just 3 days left...and I'll be on a plane off to China, away from most of the people I met here and also with no contact (maybe) with everyone back at home.

I just gotta be strong and remember to do my best on the mission trip so that I have some awesome testimonies to tell them all about my journey in China ^^ Seemed like forever to get to this last week, but now that I'm living it, it seems so fast hahah How ironic.

Well see ya all later ^^ God bless~

Random Post

So 5 more days until China/Japan time :O! So close now, it's really exciting ^^. Kind of sad in a way because we'll have to say goodbye to everyone. Two of my roommates are going to be leaving on Saturday (tomorrow) and we'll be leaving on the Wednesdays at 7am, so probably have to wake up at 4am on that day x.x; Others I know are going to be leaving on the 1st of April so it's all pretty random.

Forget if I wrote this, but a few people are leaving to go back home (or already left). One of the guys in our outreach team actually went home because the leaders said he wasn't ready for outreach and he agreed that he had some stuff to take care of back at home. Same thing happened with a girl from the Call2All DTS, so we're having a goodbye lunch thing on Saturday before she leaves. I also found out that another girl from that DTS left yesterday and I didn't even know she was leaving o.O; She said she wasn't ready for her India/China outreach, but it's really sad to hear cuz I bet she would have done awesome there. She just had to believe more in herself in my opinion.

So on Wednesday we're leaving at 7am and arriving there at Tokyo airport at 1pm (not sure who's time), but we'll be staying there for 8 hours I heard until our next flight to China is ready. Because we'd have to sleep there overnight and the airport closes, the airport has given us a free stay at a hotel nearby which is totally awesome cuz we thought we'd be sleeping on benches haha. I think the airplane ride should be around 8 hours to Japan and then another 2 hours to China. Once I'm in China though, I probably won't be able to use the internet, or if I do, I probably won't write or post anything about Christianity because I don't want to make any trouble for the long term missionaries that live here. If you're going to write to me DONT write anything christian or religious or anything!! Unless you want to see my face after couple of years after I come out of a Chinese prison.

My leaders made an email address for the team that's more secure and harder for the government to read, so I put down my mom's email address for them to write to her in case anything happens. So if you don't see me online after 2 months and a half months, ask her what happened (if you can) haha.

Well I gotta go to class now, see ya all later ^^

Oppression?

One of the guys in my China team is actually doing his DTS a second time because he couldn't complete it the first time cuz of some stuff he had to sort out back at home. Anyways, he said that before everyone leaves, there's usually a lot of oppression from the enemy/Satan. I also heard that if Satan knows you're going to do something big or significant, then he'll do everything he can to scare you away from it, make you physically ill, etc. so that you can't.

From what I can see so far, some people are going back home because they're not ready apparently. I know of 2 people that are going home and one of them is a guy in my outreach (he actually left today). I was kind of surprised because I thought he was actually growing as a Christian, but he said he had to go back home to sort some things out before coming back to complete his DTS. So now our outreach group is down to 11 people ><;

There are still a bunch of people who need outreach money, one being my roommate. I really hope he goes on mission because he's changed a lot since he's come here, so would be great to see him come back and tell of all the stuff he saw and did. I'm really lucky and never really had to worry about money at all, so I can't imagine how hard it must be for the ones who still need their outreach money. They have no clue where the money's going to come from cuz their families aren't that rich, and they need like $2000+ in 1 week.

Lately and especially today, I feel like I'm being attacked more in a spiritual aspect. To those who dunno or don't believe in the spiritual realm, this will sound weird to you. Anyways, I don't really know how to explain it cuz I don't really understand it that well. Recently I've been feeling the Holy spirit inside of me a lot more constantly (like that feeling you get when you're really into praise, to those who've felt it in church). Like the feeling never really leaves me these days, which is very different than what I'm used to. Anyways, the attacking aspect tho, is that now that I can feel that, it feels like I'm more sensitive to the not so good spirits as well o.O; Like today I woke up and it felt like I didn't sleep at all even though I slept in. Right away I noticed this really weird bad feeling inside that wouldn't go away x.x; I was totally disengaged in worship in the morning which is really rare, but after hearing the teaching in class it got a bit better. I just figure I gotta deal with all my issues here in Hawaii before I go to mission or else it'll come up there and get worse. I guess I'll be praying a lot more and fasting a bit ><;

Well I'm just going to trust that I'll overcome it soon and be able to do great on mission. I think I need some prayers @.@;

Anyways, awkward place to end, but see ya all later. God bless~

11 More Days

Ah, I want to hurry up and leave already. Hawaii is getting extremely boring now cuz after being at the beaches and getting burned like crazy...they don't seem so exciting haha. The downtown here is made up of like 20 buildings, literally, so not much to do there. Everyone here loves to go cliff diving on the weekends, but no point in going for me cuz I can't swim sadly. Hurry up and come China and Japan!!

Anyways, enough complaining. I really am stoked to see what'll happen in China/Japan. When I first saw the members in our team, to tell ya the truth, I was kind of thinking "Uh God, why did you put this group together? It just seems so random." When we had our first outreach prayer time, this week, I thought it'd just be whatever, but it ended up being a really spiritually intense time in my opinion. I was kind of wondering why this was, but then at our second meeting, one of the girls said she was asking God the same question and He said that the one common thing among our group is that we all really value our quiet time with God. Like it's not uncommon for us to just listen to praise songs on MP3 and meditate on God. When I heard that, I looked at the members around the room and it was so true! It was one of those eye opening kind of moments and it seemed more like God hand picked each member in our group to do something amazing on our outreach xD. Now I really can't wait to see what'll happen once we go to China ^^ Too bad I can't write about it while I'm in China, but I'll write a posting about just regular kind of stuff or code it all hehe. I might have to make a new blog just in case though, but I'll write the link on here once I do.

Oh Shin, are there any cultural things we should know about while living in Japan? I don't want to do anything that'll offend people without me knowing I'm doing it. I know I need to bow when I meet people, but is there anything else that's really important?

Hair is getting long...

This'll just be a short post. I already posted this on my facebook, but thought I'd put this up for Shin and others. Should I totally buzz my hair, or grow it out until I get to Japan and get a crazy haircut? The thing is...Japan is 2 months away, so it'll become really ugly and nasty by then (not that it isn't yet).

I know I know, I totally need conditioner, but I'm a poor lil YWAM student, so don't expect much >=O! Only thing really keeping me back from cutting it here is that it'll probably turn out really ugly if I try to get a trim...(bad experiences before with people trying to cut my hair). But if I get a buzz or shave it, most people in China might think I'm a Buddhist monk or have cancer. Not the best pic, but oh well.

Well tell me what you think ^^

Sore Muscles & Outreach talk

So on Sunday I helped out with the construction work happening to the new prayer room here. It's a LOT bigger than the one they're using now and they said they want to be able to do recording there and air the praise there on radio 24/7 xD. The day before, I went into the prayer room to catch up on readings...and ended up staying there for 5 hours! It was all my decision, wasn't forced or anything...didn't even feel that long cuz I was so into it (reading the Bible and praying) and by the time I went to my room, it was already 8pm o.o; Well on Sunday, a guy from my DTS woke up my roommate telling him that he should help out with the construction cuz they were short on men. I just suddenly felt like I should go and got up right away, got ready, and ended up going.

The whole week before they announced that the people from our DTS could volunteer and help out. There's about 70+ people in our DTS and the amount of people that came was...7 (3 of those were staff) haha. I thought all the leaders would come and help out but none of them came o.O; Even with our small numbers, we surprisingly got a lot done and everyone was really glad cuz we surpassed the quota for the day.

After that I ended up playing a few hours of basketball and looked like I just got out of the shower haha. My hair was so soaked, and cuz I haven't cut my hair yet since I got here, it looked pretty nasty xD. I'm debating if I should just shave it in China, or let it grow LONG and get a Japanese haircut in Japan (even tho it'll probably be PRICEY). My right ankle was so sore cuz I sprained it the week before and just put it through a lot of physical work, but even still, I decided to walk to Dennys which is a 15 min. walk with a hill at the end ><; To top it all off, it was raining when I walked haha.

Well now my body is aching and so sore >.<; But eh, it was fun, so it's all good xD. At Dennys I met a group of YWAMers that just came back from their outreach trip. One guy told me he got really sick and had to go to the hospital twice when he went to Rwanda, Africa. The doctors said they found an amoeba in his digestive system which cased him to diarrhea like crazy and such, and by the end of it, he said he lost 20 pounds :O!

While talking with them, I asked if they experienced anything crazy on outreach (cuz I always here about stories about people being demon possessed, or healing the sick) but they all were like "Umm....hmm...no not really" which kind of disappointed me in a way cuz I was thinking "If we're paying almost $5000 to go on our outreach, we better see something exciting" haha. Seemed like one of the highlights of some of their trips was like...texting people from other outreaches saying they're in prison (when they weren't) and finding out that some monkeys have blue balls >.>; They also told me not to have any expectations before going.....which made me think "What the heck, I had such high expectations...the heck?" So now I don't know what to expect or if this is pretty much just going to be a "trip" more than a mission. I'm really hoping it's not going to be and that their missions just sucked and that there's something more in store for our team, but I guess it's up to God. I don't really want to go back to Canada and have no stories to tell and come back the same and disappointed cuz that'll just seem like I wasted my time and my parent's money here.

Well anyways, I'm just going to go with high expectations anyways and just say "screw it, ours will be better >=O!"

Well on a different note, I went to Wal-mart with some friends and we all went on the scales to see if we lost or gained weight since coming here. This was the first time I weighed myself since I came to Kona, so I was kinda shocked at the result. When I first came here, I gained a bunch of weight and was 175 pounds (79.4 kgs), but now I'm apparently 164 pounds (74.4 kgs). What the heck, I lost 11 pounds :O!! I didn't really notice it cuz my hair makes my face look bigger, but my friends were like "Whoa! You totally don't look that light" which made me say "Wah? Are you saying I look fat? o.O" haha jk. Ya, so I bought a bunch of cup Ramen/Ramyun and some drinks to help me gain some weight, cuz I'm guessing in Asia I'm going to lose more weight (either from sickness or lack of eating). I'm hoping to hit at least 170 before I leave, so wish me luck.

Well I gotta go now, so see ya all later. Please keep praying for me seeing that I'm going to be leaving really soon, so a lil spiritual boost would be nice xD haha. God bless you all~

Chinese name? and other random stuff

So one of my friends here is Taiwanese and he's really excited for our team to head into China. Lately he's been trying to make a Chinese name for each member of our team to make it easier for the Chinese to remember and pronounce. He said to give me my Korean name and tell me the meaning so that he can get the Mandarin version of the word to make up the name. In the end, my name is Song, Eun Song haha. Only thing that changed was the last letter chul -> song, which means wisdom. Kinda weird, but oh wells haha.

Man, I should totally make a Japanese name too haha. Make me one Shin xD haha jk jk. Probably end up being like "Man-who-eats-a-lot san" or something after translation. Well if all else fails, I'll just call myself Shin-chan haha jk jk.

Anywho, lately I've looked up some stuff about the Chinese underground church, and it's pretty crazy. They actually all meet up in abandoned buildings to praise God and worship Him (cuz its illegal in China). Here's a clip of a more recent video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Do7jIUg6l0k . You're going to have to excuse the lame beginning, but you get to see what it's more like late in the vid.

I also was looking Japanese Christian praise, and the church in this clip actually has a lot more people than I thought. I heard Japan is one of the hardest places to tell people about Christianity and only like 0.01% are Christian o.o; Here's a clip of a Japanese church in Tokyo: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCbe3EehrnI . I totally want to go to this church and praise in Japanese xD. Sounds so cool ^^. I remember a bunch of Japanese held a Christian Korean/Japanese concert in Japanese and English. It was to help with the tension between the two races and to bring them together through the church, and one of my friend's is a Korean/Japanese mix and ended up singing on the praise team xD. I missed it though cuz I didn't have a ride, and now totally regret it ><; But hopefully I can visit this church xD.

Well this is totally off topic but felt like sharing. So yesterday's service topic was all about the Father's heart and at the end while we were praying, the guest speaker said he just felt like God wanted him to say something that could be weird for us. He said something like "If growing up, you've never been hugged by your biological father or mother, I want you to take a step of faith and come to the front. All the older members or grandparents, I want you to come to the front as well and hug one of the students here, but when you hug, I don't want you to let go. Just hold them for a while." About 15-20 people came to the front and right when they got hugged, a lot of them broke down crying. It was really sad, but beautiful at the same time. Sad that even Christian fathers would feel ashamed to hug their own children, something that's actually hard for me to comprehend cuz my dad's always been pretty loving. Christianity is all about love, so its really sad to think of something like that, but it was really beautiful to see them being hugged and letting go of those past heartaches against their parents. Even the guys were balling their eyes out on an older person's shoulder, really touching moment.

Well anyways, this was a really random post, but oh well. God bless everyone ^^

Another One Leaves

So today we had to gather for a 1:15am meeting out of the blue. We all gathered at the big area where we do corporate worship and they announced that a guy named Ben that's in our DTS was going to go home. He was caught doing some stuff before, so he had a chance to stay or go, but he decided to stay and try his best to behave. His dad even ended up coming to Kona, Hawaii to help encourage him which was pretty crazy because whose parents would do that? They all had big hopes for him, but then yesterday (I'm guessing) he got caught doing something again. I wasn't close to him at all and only talked to him maybe once, so I have no clue what he did, but ya.

So I guess this makes the 4th person to leave YWAM (another guy left, but ended up coming back [none of my old roommates]). Everyone then started to say words of encouragement to him that was pretty touching. At the start of it, one of the leaders walked up to him and gave him a hug for like 5 min. and whispered something into his ear. All the girls started crying of course, but it really was pretty sad. They were all saying stuff like "We're a family now, so even though we're going to be separated, know that you'll never be distant from us anymore because we're now related by blood, the blood of Jesus."

Well this guy's going to be leaving tomorrow morning and for a change, the one leaving isn't a Korean haha. Man, what's with Koreans and always being the trouble makers haha.

Anyways, this week the speaker is apparently really famous...and is from the city of Vancouver (where I'm from) and I totally didn't know who he was until I read his little profile in my binder, but apparently most of the Americans know him haha. I asked another guy from Canada (and from my city) if he knew him, and he had no clue haha. How ironic. Well he's speaking a lot on having a relationship with God by spirit pretty much. Like being in constant communion with God through your spirit to His spirit. Really different teaching than what I'm used to learning, but it's pretty interesting. I'll write more about it later most likely.

I forget if I wrote this, but they said we're going to get the lecture recordings, so I'll upload them eventually when I get them so you can all hear the kinda stuff we're learning.

Anyways, see ya all later, God bless.

Outreach Rough Draft Timeline!!

So today we had a little meeting with our outreach group and talked about the rough plan of what we're going to be doing in China/Japan xD. Shin, is it ok if you check what bands are playing during my Japan times? hehe. Anywhos, here's the plan:

March 31st - Departure from Kona, Hawaii

April 2nd - Arrival in China (I know, its weird arriving 2 days later, but apparently with the time difference, thats how it works xD Time travelling, here I come ^^)

Apr.24-25 - city: Dallian - lots of coffee shops here and there's a place where they teach english and the government actually allows people to sing english praise songs :O So we'll probably totally take that chance to sing and evangelize.

Apr.25-30 - city: DangDong - (3 hour long bus trip to get there) Join the DTS group there and meet up with Andy Byrd again.

May 1-9 - Potential road trip across the Korean/China border to meet up with the Christian underground house churches.

May 9-19 - city: Beijing - Go to Copeland concert and other religious stuff

May 20-31 - city: ChongChing - Mercy ministry teams (help random people) Intercessory praying and helping out the homeless (poor city).

May 31st - Take the train back to Dallion to take a plane to Japan

June 1-12 - city: Tokyo - House of prayer, join their DTS groups there, and maybe go to the parks and play some praise ^^

June 13/14 - Arrival back into Kona, Hawaii


So that's our really rough schedule for now ^^

Quest to Learn Japanese

So I'm going to be going on my mission in 4-5 more weeks, and so I thought it'd be a good idea to learn the language a tiny bit, so if I get lost, at least I could say some VERY basic stuff. I figured, there's no way I can learn any of the Chinese languages cuz they're way too hard and the pronunciations...eh haha. So I decided to try and learn Japanese at least. So far all I memorized is colors ^^. Lets see if I remember them...

Blue = Ao
Green = Midori
Pink = Momoiro
Black = Kuro
White = Shiro
Grey = Haiiro
Yellow = Kiiro
Red = Akai
Purple = Murasaki
Orange = Daidaiiro
Brown = Chaiiro
Sky Blue = Mizuiro

If I skipped any or wrote them wrong, please tell me hehe.

Right now I'm going to venture into learning some simple Japanese phrases ^^. Wish me luck everyone and if anyone wants to help me, I'd really appreciate it xD.

Tsunami Alert

So we all got woken up at 6am from a siren blazing in our ears. Apparently Chile had an 8.8 earthquake, so Hawaii is on a Tsunami alert. Oh...it just went off again o.o; I'm guessing it's going to be like impossible to sleep now cuz they're probably going to ring the sirens every hour for like 10-30min. It's crazy annoying cuz its surprisingly loud. Gah, right when I wanted to sleep in too x.x;

I heard Japan also had a 6.9 earthquake, so I hope they're all doing fine. Haven't seen any pictures of the earthquake damage in either city, so dunno the destruction damages yet.

I totally want to go to the beach and videotape the tsunami, just gotta make sure to wake up. It should hit Hawaii at 11:19am xD. How amazing would it be to see a tsunami upclose? xD Going to be so awesome~!

Give Up Electric Guitar?

So I've been playing acoustic guitar a lot lately because it's the only thing I can get my hands on. Of course I'm not that amazing at acoustic cuz I never play it back at home, but the more I play it, the more I'm loving it. It kind of feels like I'm learning guitar for the first time haha. The simplicity of it, yet the complete complexity of it is pretty interesting to me right now. You don't need fancy pedals or a great amp to make it sound great, all you need is skill and complete devotion to find the perfect sound to make your notes clear and precise.

After coming here, I've met and seen a lot of amazing musicians that to me makes me think "Dang, they're amazing! Will I be that good in the future?" but instead of being all depressed and thinking "I'll never be that good", it makes me more excited instead and think "I gotta practice more (*.*)!!" I always had a habit...or more like a dream, that after hearing amazing guitarists/bands, thinking "Oh man that's awesome! I want to be able to play what they play, and then surpass them and become even more skilled then them!" I want to start working towards that goal and one day become an amazing guitarist that makes people awestruck whenever I play haha. I know it won't take a year or two, but will take MUCH longer, but I want to be able to do it one day for sure.

People here have said I'm a good guitar guitarist, but with my skill now, I'm totally not satisfied at all. I know deep inside that there's a lot more potential that I can reach if I try, and until I give it all I have, I don't think I'll ever be satisfied with my guitar skills. I want to think that what I've done now is only the beginning of something so much greater. One huge thing I need to overcome is being able to accept failure. I know that this is a giant mountain in my way of getting better and I can totally see it every time I play guitar. I can never play at my best in front of people because of my fear of messing up, and then once it happens (self-fulfilling prophecy)I can't keep my mind off of that mistake that I end up playing the rest of the song horribly. Even if people are like, "Whoa, that was really good" I won't be able to accept it and just think, "Gah, I practiced so long and I still can't play it perfectly, what the heck!" and beat myself up inside when in reality it might have been good enough. I really need to be able to overcome this and I know it won't just be a quick fix, but it'll be a lifelong journey, but I will eventually get over it, that's what I believe.

Now you're all probably wondering what the heck this post's title is about because so far I've only written about my love for guitar and wanting to improve. Well, right now I'm really debating with myself if I should sell all my electric guitar stuff and buy a pretty decent Acoustic guitar. I think at this moment that I'm not ready to play an electric in a way. If I'm not confident enough in my own skills, its really hard to focus on what I need to do when I need to set up my amp and pedals to sound just how I want. Everyone who's played with me knows that I keep trying to mess with my electric sound during practices which can sometimes make the practices longer because I keep getting distracted by the sound of my guitar. I keep thinking up new ways I can get a good sound, and end up researching so much stuff I can't afford that I end up not practicing at all. It really works against me in the end and I know its my fault in the end, but I want to get rid of the distractions and just know and play 1 guitar without having to worry about extra stuff like amps and pedals.

I kind of have to relearn how to play guitar, and then hopefully it'll all be worth it in the end and I can make songs that I could never imagine me making at the moment. If you haven't picked it up yet, I do have a passion for music and it's one of the only things in life (besides God) that really makes me feel alive. Hmm... God give me the talent to make my words true and give me the opportunity to be able to share it with the World.

Ok I think I'm done writing now. Just wanted to write down what's been on my mind. I know it may not seem significant at all to most of you, but this is what my heart is crying out right now, so thought I'd jot it down to help get it out of me and able to reflect on it. Well see ya all later. God bless.

Misinterpreted Christianity

So the new speaker for this week just totally blew everyone's mind away. This post will be more for those that are part of a church, so for everyone else, sorry if this makes no sense to you, but feel free to read it anyways to learn about proper Christian theology. This guy is the founder of a famous Christian prophetic school, named Morning Star, and is teaching us all about a lot of misconceptions within the church. I'll upload his drawings from the whiteboard onto Facebook so it'll make more sense.

The first misconception lies in the fact that we as the church believe we need to "Make ourselves Holy" (get rid of all the bad stuff) and then have a relationship with God and pray to Him so that he can, in turn, bring revival unto the Earth and change it. Here is the problem though; we focus so much on trying to cleanse ourselves that we don't pay any mind to the world. BUT, according to the Bible, it is not our job to make ourselves holy. It says in scripture that God is the one that makes us holy, so that we may go into the world and change it. We are the ones that are supposed to bring revival into the world, we're not supposed to just pray and wait on the sidelines and be passive. We have to stop focusing on ourselves and start reaching out to others, how God intended us to.

He also said that what we end up doing as Christians is taking people out of the world, and bringing them into the church to be saved. We believe that if we bring enough people into the church, and if we're bigger than the world, then we somehow win. However Jesus called us to be the salt and light IN the world, not apart from it. Here's an example that may arise from taking people out of the world. Say there is a guy who's always been fixated on money, and he's a very amazing banker. Once he gets saved, people say he needs to give it up and do ministry because ministry is only being a pastor or missionary, and money is evil. This man ends up becoming an unsuccessful pastor and because he's still so fixated on money, scandals start to arise within the church. His calling was not to become a pastor, but it was to work with money because God gave him a passion for it. A question that was asked was, why cannot Christians be in high business, government, etc positions and make a difference in the world in that way? God calls us to be many different things, money is not evil, it's man that makes it evil.

We take people out of the world because of one major thing, Fear. Afraid that what God has gifted us with will turn into some kind of idol for us. An example he used is that in the 1970s, a young man decided that he wanted to become a golfer, and his name was Tiger Woods. At the same time, another young man who was born in a Christian family made the same decision and played golf all the time and won awards for it. Along the way, his youth pastor and Christian friends started to get afraid, and told him that he might be making golf an idol. Growing up, he kept getting afraid and having the thoughts of "Am I really? Am I not?" and ended up giving up golf in the end and becoming a pastor of a small 100 person church, while Tiger Woods became a professional golfer. Now, young people look up to a publically announced Buddhist, serial adulterer, etc. instead of a man who puts his trust in God and was blessed with such a great gift.

As Christians, why are we so afraid that we're going to become arrogant and put off God's blessings for us? God does not call us all to be poor and have no fun, he calls us to enjoy life. The Christian principles are Hard work and Self-denial = blessings (abundance/cash), yet we give up great opportunities that God gives us because we're afraid that we're not good enough, that we don't deserve it, that we'll get arrogant, etc. and settle for less instead. God wants us to enjoy his creation and blessings! When we take all the Christians out of the financial sphere, all that's left are greedy people who view money in the wrong way. Then when it collapses, we say "we prophisized that it would hapoen. See, we were right" without realizing the fact that it's our fault that it happened in the first place. I know this seems harsh, but think about the change we could make if we used God's gifts he gave us and used them for good. If God raised us to be leaders in the world, we did not get afraid, yet embraced it, and lead with a Christian foundation. The difference would be huge! Ministry does not only mean becoming Pastors, teachers, missionaries, etc. It applies to every Christian, no matter what type of job they may have. We are to be shining lights in this dark world, not be totally separated from it.

Another misconception is the idea that if we see the face of God, we'll die. Now this theology doesn’t make sense because we know that one man saw the face of God all the time, Moses. It says in the Bible that he would talk to God face to face just like a friend. But then people pull out the scripture where Moses asks to see the Glory of God, but God says, "you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live." Notice that it doesn’t say that if he saw His face, he would die. That’s a very important part to take note of in this scripture. Now here’s the thing, the word “live” in its original Hebrew context actually means something on the lines of “to not be the same as you were before.” So this passage actually doesn’t mean that if you see the face of God that you will die, it means that once you see the face of God, you can’t help but change and be totally transformed! We don’t need to be scared of God or getting too close to God because He is a God of love and will totally radically change us. When Moses was about to die, it says his eyesight did not worsen and he still had the same vigor as before. People believe that because he saw God’s face for 80 days on the mountain, that his body stopped decaying (growing old) and that God himself had to actually kill him or else he would of continued living. It says in the Bible that he died according to the word of God. In the book of Jude, it says that the angel Michael and Satan fought over Moses’ body because Satan wanted to reveal Moses’ body to the Israelites and show that his body would not decay even after his death and have them worship him as an idol. This is a total different take on seeing the face of God haha. Not only do we not die, but our very being changes and does almost the opposite o.o;. Satan lies to us because he doesn’t want us to seek the face of God, so he creates theology to confuse people about the scriptures, and make them afraid of such a loving God, or blame him for our own/others consequences. We do not need to be afraid of God ^^.

Many people have the question, “Why did God put Satan into the Garden of Eden?” This is a misconception though. This is actually my favourite one that he talked about hehe. The world was not perfect when Adam and Eve entered the world. It was good when God created it, but some time before the creation of humans, Satan was banished from Heaven and was sent to the Earth. Satan then took dominion over it and caused it to be messed up. To take back the Earth and to also get rid of Satan, God created the Garden of Eden and put man in it. Now the Garden of Eden WAS perfect, but the difference is that God put it into a fallen world to take it back and redeem it. When man was created, God told him to redeem and subdue it. If the world WAS perfect, there would be no reason to redeem or subdue, but would only make sense if the world wasn’t perfect. It was like God was telling man and women to take the perfectness of the garden and bring it to the rest of the world until the whole world was like the garden. When Jesus gave his disciples the Great Commission, it wasn’t a new thing, but he was bringing back an old concept for the restoration of God’s original intention! So to sum it all up, God did not put Satan into the garden, he put the garden in Satan’s territory so that man could redeem/subdue it.

This is the last thing I’m going to talk about. A lot of us have trouble imagining how powerful God is. We don’t realize just how big and amazing He really is. But think about this, God did not muster up all His strength to create light, it was not an exhausting thing for Him to do. All he did was give PERMISSION for light to be made and BAM light was created! He did the same with the rest of creation except for us. For us, it wasn’t enough to just sit by and watch us be created, but got down and formed us, and then if that wasn’t enough, he came face to face (which is the most intimate position) and breathed life into us. He took the natural man, breathed his spirit into us, and made us supernatural. Now this is a hard concept for many Christians to accept because we think we can’t possibly be good enough, we see our failures, etc. But God takes unqualified people and makes them successful. Think about the greatest king in History, David. He was just a little kid when he killed Goliath, a 9 foot experienced warrior of the Philistines. He was nowhere near qualified to kill such a mighty warrior, but God can do such amazing things even with unqualified people.

The speaker was telling us that God gave him many prophetic revelations from different people that his daughter is a sign of what the future generation will be like. She is 4 foot 9 and around 75 pounds, but she’s an amazing athlete. In grade 6, she was on the varsity track and field team for highschool (they let her on the team even though she wasn’t in highschool) and came in 2^nd place. She was also on the highschool varsity soccer team and was their team’s star player! Grade 12 girls all looked up to her because she was such an amazing athlete. She was a sign that the generations won’t be qualified, but God will do amazing things through them to show the world just how amazing He is. We’ve got to question; do we ever feel qualified to do the works of God? No, but God will still do miracles through us, heal the sick, etc etc. He uses the unqualified to succeed if they are willing.

I’m learning a lot through everything this speaker is sharing with us, and when I get the recordings, I’ll for sure try to post them online so everyone can hear them ^^. I dunno if I explained any of this that well, but hopefully you all got something out of it xD. I gotta go now, God bless~.

Weird Dreams

Ive been having trouble sleeping since I got here which is a pain because I always have to get up early. I end up waking up 3-5 times during the night, and never feel like I've gotten any rest in the end. I had this problem back at home, but it seems a lot worse here because I feel so groggy when I wake up and takes me about 3 hours to actually wake up. Luckily I've learned how to stay awake in boring psychology lectures, so I don't fall asleep during the classes here ^^. Plus all the speakers here will blow your mind, so it's hard not to pay attention in these classes haha.

Well anyways, I end up dreaming at least 3 times a night (ya, I dream a LOT), but I think I can only remember like 2 of my dreams. I do know though that a lot of my dreams are Christian based cuz I wake up and pray about something (totally forget what cuz I go back to sleep) or wake up and say something like "Praise the Lord" then roll over and go back to sleep haha. Ya, it's really strange, but it's annoying that I can't remember any of them cuz back at home I usually remember all my dreams.

Well here's one I do remember: I was back at my old house and talking to one of my cousins. My sister then came down saying that it was time to take a portrait picture of my grandma. Apparently she wanted to take a picture for her and my grandpa's anniversary even though he passed away. When my grandma came out, my grandpa came out right after her o.o; In the dream I was thinking, "Wait, what? He died a year ago, how is he here? Is it because I've been learning about all this supernatural stuff and now I can see spirits? o.o" My grandpa would say something and my grandma would respond, so I was thinking, "Whoa, she can see him too, it's not just me." My grandpa was all smiling brightly and after my sister took a photo of them two he turned to me and said something on the lines of "Justin, I'm so sorry that my death caused you so much pain" but I was like "Oh no, don't worry about it! Even though it was painful, it actually helped me to grow stronger." And right when I was going to say something else, my roommate wakes me up and tells me its time for breakfast!! AHH! How sad! I actually told him to wake me up for breakfast cuz I skipped dinner the night before x.x; But ya, that was one of the dreams I've had here haha.

Another one of my dreams, Kaji came to spend a week in Vancouver with me and my brother. I forget why Shin didn't come (think it was work related) but instead Kaji came of all people haha. I was expecting him to do some crazy stuff but he was like the nicest person ever o.o; He looked like how I dreamt about Shin before, but acted the total opposite of what I thought he'd act hahah. Was so funny xD. I totally don't remember anything else from that dream besides that, but I could totally hear Kaji saying something like "What's this guy talking about? I'm the nicest guy in the world" or something if he read this haha.

Anyways, that's all for now. See ya all later, God bless ^^

Fun in the Sun

Ooo lucky day for my readers cuz I'm making up for not writing and am writing my 3rd entry today, yay ^^. So on Saturday...I think it was...me and a few friends decided to go to the beach, so we were all waiting by the flags when this guy from the biblical school of teaching and preaching came up and asked if we wanted to get a ride to a NICE beach. Of course we said yes, and luckily he had a convertible so we got to ride total Hawaiian vacation style with the top down xD.

After 40 min of driving we entered this expensive looking hotel place with a road block thingy at the front. They asked us if we had reservations, and the guy we were with said we were just going to book into the hotel there, so the guy let us in. He was all like "Hahah, I took one for the team" in his awesome British accent hehe. So we valeted the car and walked through the hotel to the beach and it was SOOOOO beautiful :O! Totally looked like something you'd see in the movies o.o;

The beach was all nice sand, there were lawn chairs in several rows on the beach, a pool for those who didn't want to get salt on them, towels that you could use, and to top it all off, those round beach bars you see in the movies xD. Totally felt like a celebrity at that moment haha. We ended up playing in the waves and we went way out (water was only up to my chest though) and the water would all suck out till it was waist level, then BAM 7-8 foot wave rushing at us :O! It was so fun, but I think I bent my glasses a little from the impact of the waves (I took them off every time I wave hit me cuz I didn't want my glasses to wash away).

I finally remembered why I wanted to come here...the beautiful beach and waves...ah~ so nice ^^. The water was perfect temperature too, I so want to go back there hehe. Ok, I'll stop rubbing it in now and shush haha.

After staying there for 3 hours, we headed back to the university. This was actually one of the first times in my life that I actually burned my shoulders x.x; I didn't realize it, and right when I went into the shower, my skin started to burn all over @.@;; I have a few mosquito bites, and I would forget about the burns and scratch and then cringe in pain ><; It's a lot better now, but before my shoulders would always feel like they're on fire, especially when my shirt would rub against it. The next day I was like "the sun is my enemy (*.*)" and stayed in the shade all day haha.

Well I still need to go snorkeling, one thing I NEED to do in Hawaii and see all the colorful fish ^^. I'm going to go now, so God bless everyone~

Thursday Night

So to continue where I left off, we were all expecting big things to happen at the corporate worship time. All the leaders actually got together and decided not to have a speaker for this night, but just to do worship the whole time and let the Holy Spirit lead. It didn't end up as they expected, but to me it was just what I needed haha. Instead of everyone crying and all that, it ended up being a crazy fun, joyful time. It was amazing because everyone was so into the praise and it seemed like a lot of people had broken thresholds that might have kept them back from praising with all they had.

It really helped that the praise team was led by the Hawaiians and had back up by the worship leaders, so it was a really awesome band. They mainly just played upbeat songs with a twist of Hawaiian culture, it was so cool ^^. Everyone was singing at the top of their lungs, lots were dancing, and just everyone was going wild. I'm not really confident with my voice, so I usually don't sing really loud, but that night I was like "Who cares what people think" and just sang as loud as I could cuz I was just so pumped up haha.

At the end of the night, I actually ended up buying the DVD of the night, but sadly it doesn't show the crowd dancing and it only directly recorded from the mics so you can't hear the audience which is a shame. I loved the songs though, so it's all good.

I can't upload any of it now, but maybe in the future I'll cut and save one of their songs to upload on facebook so you can check it out. For everyone who doesn't have me on facebook, add me ^^. Man, I feel like I'm one of those people telling everyone to buy the premium version to get all the benifits haha. Well I gotta go do community outreach, so I'll see ya all later. God bless~

Crazy Thursday

Ok, so I meant to post this way before, but just got caught up with stuff, so now I'll try to type it all out now. So on thursday our speaker was talking about getting over strongholds in our lives and he started getting fired up while teaching saying that as Christians we gotta step up our game. He kept saying how Jesus is coming back soon and that Satan's scared, which is why he's pulling out everything he's got and corruption in our world has never been so big. We can see it in everything from media to entertainment to politics to crime, etc etc.

However, he kept saying how the church is asleep in this time of dire need and at this moment, the statistics say that 4% of college students in America attend church on a weekly basis. That statistic was at about 50%+ 50 years ago and has steadily declined since. He said if we don't step up our game and start taking the Bible seriously and start waking up the church, then Christianity might end with our generation. Many past generations have always prophesied and proclaimed things, but they never carried them out and kept relying on the younger generations, but as of now, we're like the last generation that needs to stand up and actually DO everything we prophesize and proclaim or it might end in nothing.

He was so passionate about this that he actually started to weep while he shared this with us and I guess you could say he begged us to wake up, realize this cause, and do something about it. I know I'm not explaining it in a good way, but it was a really emotional time and most of the people in the room were crying. After that he threw down his book and said that class was dismissed and encouraged us that we can pray or leave. Everyone started to pray while some leaders quickly started to play some music and the presence of the Holy Spirit was suddenly crazy strong in the room. Um, well for those who wouldn't know what this means, it's kind of like a heavy presence, you get this hot burning feeling in your chest usually, and some tingly feeling that I can't really explain.

Anywho, I was praying for my church and thinking about how many of them are still asleep, and if only they knew the truth and lived by it. Also just Vancouver as a whole because I've known the college and youth from the different churches. Then a picture came to my mind that God had blessed my grandfather in all he did, who then passed the blessing to my father, who then passed it on to me as well (I guess indirectly by sending me here) and that I should stop worrying about my fears for the future because as God was with my family, He will also be with me.

My main leader then took the mic and started saying how it wasn't an accident or a mistake that we're all here. Before the DTS, she said the leaders all got together and prayed that God would release a sound that would call forth his chosen people to come and totally shape the nations, and that we're all the respondents to that call. I had this image of a trumpet sounding and us from around the world preparing to come here to learn and bring revival to the rest of the world. I remembered my father telling me about this place and me suddenly feeling a surge of excitement and an automatic determination to come to YWAM even though I didn't quite understand it at all.

As I was praying about all these things I had a few tears coming down, but then I felt like it was something so much more and my leader said "I feel like some of us just need to weep it out" and so I just let it overtake me and man...I've never cried so much in my life o.o; The only other time I ever remember weeping was at my grandfather's funeral when we needed to see his body. While I was crying though, all I could think of was the church and I kept getting images of me leading a whole bunch of people and me saying "God, I may not know what the future holds, but if it's your will then I'll fight against my insecurities and fear, and follow where you lead me." Suddenly when I was praying that, I felt my arms get this tingly vibrating kinda feeling and were going numb, it kept getting stronger and stronger until I couldn't move my fingers anymore and they were clamped shut :O . I was kind of like "What the heck is happening? O.O;" but just kept praying passionately for my future and for the church and thanking God that he brought me here and all that and my cheeks, lips and tongue developed the same feeling as my arms and then my legs. Luckily I was sitting down or I would of totally bailed and fell on top of people haha.

We ended up praying for 5 hours straight o.o! but it felt like nothing to us because we were so into it. This isn't just my own experience, everyone else had crazy encounters with God in that room that the main leaders didn't really know what to do because they didn't want to do anything that would hinder us, so they just tried to let the Holy Spirit lead as much as possible. My experience lasted for about 1-2 hours and finally I could move properly again. I was lucky cuz I wanted to stay there and pray, but I also needed Kleenex to wipe the tears and um...snot that was dripping hahaha. Hey, if you weep, I'd be surprised if the same didn't happen to you haha. But I remembered the speaker saying "Don't be so quick to leave the presence of the Lord, you'll never regret it" so I decided to stay and my leader (I'm guessing, but didn't see who it was) dropped down some Kleenex for me to use, so I was like "Thank you Lord @.@;"

After 5 hours, we had to end it because we had to go to work duty (chores that we do everyday, but mine takes 30 min. so its all good) so the ones that needed to leave left, including me. I was just in a daze for the rest of the day until corporate worship time that was later in the day (when the whole school gets together and does worship and hears a speaker talk) but I'll talk about that in my next posting.

I gotta go eat now, so I'll write about it later ^^.

Add me on Facebook for Pictures/Videos

Ok, so it takes way too much time to add pictures on Facebook, add more on here and blog, and write emails, so I decided to not add pictures on here anymore. Now, if you want to see pictures and some video clips of what I've been doing in Hawaii, then make a facebook and add me. My name on Facebook should just be "Justin Song" and my picture right now is a close up, side view of me with my new glasses and headphones.

So sorry for those who don't use Facebook, but I'm getting back to my room around 10pm and the internet cuts out at 10:55pm, so it's just way too much to do right now. *Uses this as a test to see how much people care about him* haha jk jk.

On a brighter note, the internet here just got upgraded, so I can now start posting a lot more pictures of video clips of my time here ^^. I just uploaded like 30 something pictures and 2 video clips, so check them out~

How to get over Game Addictions

So our speaker actually went over a little bit on Video Games. I know this will be a very controversial topic for many of you, but you can't really deny the power of game addictions. I admit, I was pretty addicted to games as well, so I'm just as guilty as the next guy/girl. Well anyways, here are 5 things video games can do to people:

1) Addicted + Preoccupied = absorbed into being entertained. Throughout the whole day, fixed on the thought of "How can I get back to the console/computer" which will then lead to a life of selfishness.

2) Many games these days are usually about or contain sex, violence, crudeness, and witchcraft. He described witchcraft as anything not of God, such as magic, creatures such as vampires, demonic stuff etc etc.

3) Exposing yourself to witchcraft in some of the games. Demons actually can't manifest in you/possess you unless you dabble in witchcraft or totally deny God. Here's something that might surprise a lot of you. Witchcraft can curse generations, so if anyone in your family has done witchcraft, it can affect you even if you're a christian. Also if you sleep with someone, the Bible says that both your flesh will become as one, meaning that even if you haven't done witchcraft or anything like that, because you slept with them, it opens a gateway to all their sins. Now, here's a real sucky thing. If you ever sleep with a prostitute or people like them, you're combining yourself with not only them, but also every single person they've slept with! o.o;

4) Numbness to what is wrong/morality (cannot feel, numbness to life). You can see this in kids who'll kill like 700 people in a game and not even flinch or see people die in movies in gory ways and think nothing of it.

5) Cause child and parent to coexist instead of having a cohesive relationship. This means that the child and parents will live in the same house, but not interact or do anything together. Breaks down human relationships (disconnect). This leads to confusion which leaders to greater resistance and rebellion towards people and God.

Isolating yourself into the game world will lead to emotional distancing from family and friends. We need to teach our kids how to effectively express their feelings while growing up or else when they get into marriages and still dunno how to express themselves, their marriages will totally fail. Video games however do the complete opposite and cause people to never learn how to connect to people on an emotional level.

In the end, the person's brain has a progressive addiction which leads to a selfish ambition of "I need what I want NOW" and continues on to a life of rejection.

Breaks down one's ability to not only read scripture, but also understand it and get something out of it.

Ok, so that was a lot of bad stuff, so what are ways to get rid of it? Here's some steps:

1) Cut out the entertainment and/or having headphones on all the time. Many teens hide behind their headphones and never really engage in anything around them.

2) Ask God for forgiveness over the addiction and confusion (Lord please forgive me of...I cast away the spirit of addiction + confusion...).

3) Create a big fortress of encouragement with human love and connection for the child and parents. Examples would be to go camping, swimming at the beach, etc. Build up human relationships in love and encouragement.

Here's some preventions if you're a parent:

1) Limit time of playing, type of games they play, and number of consoles

2) Use playing games more as a reward than something you do all the time

3) Make sure the game has a beginning and an end. Avoid online games and other games that last forever.

Well anyways, that's some interesting stuff I learned. You can agree with it or not, but ya, do with it as you will. God bless~

My Original Design

So this speaker from Seattle came in Kona, Hawaii and is teaching us for the whole week, and it's been crazy intense, but I'll talk about it in my next blog. Anyways, he brought with him some prayer groups who are trained in prophesying people's original design from God. They said that everyone has a spiritual DNA created by God, so they ask God for people's original design, and also things keeping us away from acting out that original design. It's amazing how accurate they are, but I guess if its from God, it should be haha.

Well here's my original design:
1) One of the 2 people praying for me said that she saw a picture of me taking something apart in my hands looking at it to understand it, and then putting it back together. She said it meant that most people look at the big picture, but I look at the smaller things, try to understand how they make up the bigger picture and work towards it. So they said I'm a problem solver which is really beneficial in the church.

2) The guy in the group said that he saw an image of someone holding a pot with a crack in it. Whenever God would pour in blessings, they would spill out of the crack, so in the image I took the pot, broke it on the ground, and then gave them a new pot. He said this meant that I would crush poverty over people's lives, providing where there is no provision. Also it meant crushing a poverty spirit over people, people who have a victim mentality; I'd set them free. I asked my mission leader what this meant and he said that I would correct people's thinking who only worry about money issues that may be keeping them from experiencing everything God has to offer them.

3) The woman said she also saw that whenever God would give me a direction, I would say "YES" right away and follow in submissive obedience to the Lord. Submissive, not in a bad way, but more like a total obedience to his word. However, leaders in the church may see this and abuse it though, expecting me to say "yes" without necessarily considering my heart. I can totally relate to that already haha.

4) She also said I was a man of conviction. That I have an unwavering belief once I've set my mind on the truth. It doesn't matter what others say, I'm more single focused rather than easily misdirected. My roots are firmly planted in the truth so to say.

5) Haha, this is an awesome one xD The guy said he saw an image of me being a big warrior of God and that I was carrying this HUGE sword with words inscribed in it. One one side the sword said "WARRIOR" and on the other side, "JUSTICE" ^^. He said that I'm a defender of the throne/justice and my spiritual DNA is to defend God's Glory. He said that I could probably see this when people say something bad about God, it stirs something up inside of me which I can totally see.

The 1st, 3rd, and 4th ones, I know, totally apply now and as I was growing up, but the 2nd and 5th ones I see more as things that I'll have to obtain and carry out in the future.

They also told me the things that have kept me back from acting out my original design.

1) Insecurity
2) Fear
3) Doubt (but not in God or what he can do, but self doubt in myself and in my abilities)
-inwardly directed doubt. I believe all these wonderful things can happen to other people, but have trouble believing they can happen to me as well. But, they said that "God has given you all you need to do His work"

They said my insecurities could make a sort of barrier from receiving God's love, and because of it, faith has become a striving process to earn His love. They said breakthrough from this barrier will revolutionize my relationship with God. Also that I have to believe that "I am good enough".

The woman felt that the means to breaking through this barrier is to act upon the opposite spirit. This means that if I feel likeGod is telling me to tell someone something, instead of being passive and not saying a certain thing to someone, I should instead do the opposite and talk to them. She said this is breakthrough with obedience to any word from God. Whatever I kept saying no to before, I now have to say yes to and then I'll break out of this barrier.

The last thing she said was that I have a fear of making mistakes. This could have been passed on from overprotective leaderships in my life not encouraging me or saying I should of done better. I can totally relate to this and can also see it in my siblings a bit. I need to learn how to fail or make a mistake and accept it. What we do is good enough for God, and He can still use it, so we shouldn't regret over what we just did. They preach that regret is from the devil and causes us to think we're not good enough when in reality, God still loves us the same and could care less if you made one little mistake, He's bigger than all that and can still use it for good. I totally see this after I do praise team worship or teach Bible study, I tend to beat myself up a bit inside if I make a mistake on guitar, and it then causes me to lose my focus, so I got a lot of learning to do in accepting my failures. They said I have to remember that its who I am, not what I do that makes others and God love me.

Ok, well I kind of put myself out there by showing you all my faults, but hope you all love me still haha. This experience has been pretty eye opening not just to my original design and faults, but also to how amazing God's gift of prophecy to man is. I've never met these people before, and just by listening to the voice of God, they knew everything about me o.o; It's the same with everyone else I asked, its so awesome xD. Well anyways, I guess I'll write another post, so God bless.

Talkity Talk

So it seems like I always hang out with people outside of my DTS group haha. There's lie 70 people in my DTS, but seems like I hang out with people from Call2All and All Nations a lot more o.o; Oh wells, but yesterday I was hanging out with Eunice (from Call2All) and 3 girls from All Nations.

One of the girls from All Nations looks crazy young, and I totally thought she was around my age cuz she totally reminds me of one of my friends back home (who's younger than me), but found out that she's really 27 turning 28!!! CRAZY! I kinda knew she wasn't young, cuz when she talks, she sounds really mature. It kept bugging me, so I had to ask hehe.

We ended up talking about all our favorite foods and best places we've gone. I started getting crazy hungry cuz we were talking about fresh crab, lobster, kalbee (korean beef thing), sushi, steak, etc *drools*. The young looking girl's parents actually own a chain of Japanese restaurants, so she's always gotten good quality sushi and steak for free ever since she was young :O!!!!! Those are like my favorite foods combined x.x; Such a lucky gal @.@;

Then we got into more of a deeper conversation of the Korean church and some struggles it has and how we all totally dont want to go back home hehe. When you're at a place like this *points at YWAM* you feel really safe, comfortable, free to be yourself, etc but back at home, it's totally different. I was saying how church SHOULD be like that and not how it is now, but just...it's really tough to create that kinda atmosphere, but I guess it's up to us to do it. I really hope I can bring a lot of the stuff I've learned back home and make a difference in our church (especially the youth group cuz that's where I'm a leader).

Anywhos, I'm crazy hungry now remembering all the food we talked about, so I think Imma get ready and get something to eat. See ya laters ^^

Prophecy Games? and NES games o.O;

So one of my roommates (the youth pastor) has an Apple laptop and has an NES emulator on it haha. He even bought USB NES controllers online and got it sent here, so me and a few Korean guys play it at night for fun hehe. We were laughing our heads off at these 2 Korean guys cuz they totally suck at Mario Bros 3 and kept dying so fast, but then wondered where 2 of our other roommates were, cuz it was like 11-12pm and they're usually back at 10pm.

One of my roommates comes back and says that they were playing a Prophecy game o.O;; Ya...I was thinking "How the heck can you play a prophetic game...sounds kinda creepy" haha. They said they would get in a circle, and one person would put out their hands and close their eyes and a random person would put their hands over, and they would have to guess who it was. I dunno, but I'm pretty sure I heard non-christians doing the same thing, but it involved evil spirits haha but who knows.

Another one of my roommates came in later and said he was doing the same thing, and he was kinda a skeptic before, but is now like totally into prophesying and such. The first roommate that came in said he wanted to get prayed by the other, so they went by my bedside (cuz apparently that's where the 2nd roommate felt God more? haha guess I did pick the best bed) and prayed. The 2nd said that the 1st would make friendships and help lead those people to God and have lifetime friendships with them. It was pretty long, but that's the sum of it. Apparently the 2nd is anointed for prophecy, but I won't say anything about it.

We don't really learn about prophesying much in church or ever practice it, so this is all really new to me. We actually learned about it in class and had to get into groups of 3 and try it out. I prophecized over this girl and I saw an image of her falling and the background was black and red. I felt like she was really unsure about something and couldn't find a way to resolve it, but then a huge hand came out and she landed on it really gently, then a huge window appeared and behind it was a field with a tree in the middle and it was a really abundant looking place and the hand brought her through the window to that place. We're told to ask the Holy Spirit what anything means, so I asked and I then told her that she might be feeling unsure of something and that God was going to bring her to a place of peace. I didn't know, but she needed $3300 by the next day to stay in YWAM or she would have to leave, and then the next day, at the beginning of class she said she only needed $957 more (there were 4 others that needed money) and so we prayed to see if anyone felt like they should give money to certain people and by the end, that girl had more than she needed o.o; So maybe I got it wrong and the vision meant she'd be brought into a place of abundance, but oh wells haha. First time I ever did it, so it was pretty cool ^^. I kept praying for her every time I could, mostly cuz she joined the praise team for some of the prayer room times and I like her voice haha, but I'm so glad she was able to get the money xD.

Oh shoot I gotta go or I'll be late, got carried away with typing x.x; I'll see ya all later ^^ Sorry for not being able to update much, but the internet here crazy sux and wont even let me get into my hotmail or facebook a lot of the times, so there's no way I can update this thing. So if there's no pictures, its cuz I can't upload them cuz the internet connection sux way too much >.<; Well hope text is fine for now. See ya laters ^^

More about Spiritual Gifts

So today we learned about the 9 main spiritual gifts that it talks about in the Bible. I'll list them here with a brief explanation of each:

Seeing Gifts
1) Wisdom (not just regular human wisdom, but wisdom from God to discern the future. An example of this would be if someone asked you for advice and you somehow knew exactly what to tell them and knowing the outcome when there's no way you could know. Hard to explain x.x;)
2) Knowledge (Again, not human knowledge, but knowing things that you normally wouldn't know. An example of this would be to know someone's past you just met when you've never talked to them before.)
3) Discerning of Spirits (Being really sensitive to the spirits, such as the spirit of depression, lust, but also the good ones such as the spirit of joy, love, etc. You can tell when they are upon someone and are inflicting them or helping them etc.)

Doing Gifts
4) Faith (not regular faith, but supernatural faith where you suddenly have no fear and do things that you would normally wouldn't do. Also hard to explain x.x;)
5) Healing (pretty self explanatory, instantly healing people from diseases, illnesses, etc)
6) Miracles (doing things that may go against nature or other things, such as multiplying food to feed a multitude of people, doing things that are impossible usually, etc.)

Hearing Gifts
7) Prophecy (being able to know the future and sharing it with others to glorify God)
8) Speaking in tongues (speaking in a language you cannot understand but your spirit intercedes directly to God)
9) Interpretation of tongues (understanding when people speak in tongues and interpret it to tell people what God wants them to know)

So anyways, to be able to use them, you need to be baptized with the Holy Spirit. That’s more just like praying to let the Holy Spirit take control of your life and such and such. If you wants to know more about it, just ask cuz that’s a lotta information I’m too lazy to type haha. Well we were told to pray for whichever spiritual gifts we felt called for, so I started praying for the gifts of Faith and Wisdom (cuz I like to help people).

I was praying and one of our leaders, Levi, came and prayed for me. He prophesized over me saying that he saw a picture of me in front of a multitude of people of people and I was leading them with a mic. He said the words I spoke would touch everyone and I was confidently speaking to everything through God and about God. He also said that God has chosen me to carry the glory of God (usually means to be a leader to teach and lead God’s people). He said that he could sense that I had the gift of Miracles and when I would speak, many people would get healed and miracles would happen in the group that I lead. He said that because of what some people said to me in the past, I’m not as confident as I should be, but God will bring my confidence back. Lastly he said not to worry about getting arrogant because God is bigger than that and won’t let that happen to me, so just be confident in Him.

Well that was a really awesome prophecy over me, more so because I’ve been praying if I should become a pastor or do something with music in the future ^^. I also got another word when I was praying. Yesterday I was kind of I dunno, not feeling all amazing and such cuz when people praise here, they’re jumping, laughing, cant control themselves, super joyful, etc. but I’m not really like that and have never really been. While I was praying though, it seemed like God told me “Look around you, they’re meeting me for the first time so they cannot control their joy, but with you, you’ve known me since you were young. I’ve never left you and gave you discernment to not fall into worldly ways, but to stay pure and holy. They dance because they can finally feel me, but you have never stopped feeling me. Now that you’ve been baptized with the Holy Spirit and have grown more in maturity, you will see greater things than anything you already have, but do not be afraid, for I will always be with you to protect you, guide you, teach you, etc. All you need to do is have faith and follow me.”

So ya, it was a pretty intense prayer time and when I opened my eyes, I realized more than half the class was gone and it was 30 min. into lunch time. I was in a daze after and made sure to write down point form everything I remembered, so I could write about it once I had the time so I wouldn’t forget about it in the future.

Well I wrote a lot so I’ll end it now. Keep praying for me cuz I’m still praying for you all ^^. See yas till next time~

Emergency Response Team Training

So two days ago this random man came up to me and my work duty friends and asked if we wanted to be apart of a emergency response team training season. I thought that sounded pretty cool (not to be part of the team, but part of the training thingy) cuz they said we get to be victims in a natural disaster and get makeup on us to look like we're bleeding and such. 2 of the people I were with didn't want to do it cuz it started at 8:30am the next morning, but me and my german friend Janina said we'd do it.

When we got there the next morning, it took the fire department 3 HOURS to get there >.>;; So we were a lil pissed off cuz we're both totally not morning people and were cranky haha. I ended up just helping her with her ESL (english second language) workbook stuff while we waited and I realized...well knew before but realized even more.....I totally suck at english hahaha. I know how to use it, but I totally have no clue how to explain it because I don't know any of the rules x.x; Also my vocab SUCKS haha. I think the ESL Koreans here know more vocab than me haha.

So anyways, the fire department people finally came, set up, and put make up on Janina, the kids that were helping out, and a man from Norway. I was wearing long sleeves and pants stupidly, so it didn't work out, so I just had to act haha. Me and Janina were in an area with a lil kid named Christian and our story was this: Me and Janina were looking over this kid in preschool when an earthquake hit and shook everything. Janina went to turn off the power so the electric lines wouldn't make a fire but when she did, she saw a flash and burned her hand. Christian went to hide under the table, but something hit his head, and I went to get help but pathetically tripped over a board and fractured my leg on the ground haha.

The Emergency response people had to find us and then pretend to give us care and such. They wrapped up my leg with a piece of cardboard and wrapped up the kids' and Janina's burns and cuts. The had to carry the man out cuz he was pretending to have an internal injury from a beam falling on him, but they had some trouble lifting him cuz he was kinda big hahah.

Well here are some pics:


The makeup kit for making us look hurt hehe


A dummy of a dead fireman haha. They put a table over him so it looked like he got trapped.


The kid were with. Doesn't the head injury look so good? haha


Janina's burnt hand haha


My dramatic fall from a wooden plank in the ground x.x;

Song Writing Class

So today I went to a special song writing class they had just for today. I had to ask all my work duty helpers to have the day off, so yesterday I bought them all ice coffees as an apology thing (used the gift card I got from the talent show ^^). But I had people from the International House of Prayer teach us which was really awesome xD.

I wrote down 12 different things, so I'll share them with you all (probably nothing that amazing, but its all good):

1) Have something to say (dont just try to force words when you have nothing to say). If you really have nothing to say, you can pray for something to say if you're desperate haha. But it's best to write something you're passionate about.

2) The prayers we pray in the winter turn into our songs in the Summer. A lot of times our struggles may turn into songs of rejoicing later on in our lives.

3) Humility is the doorway for anything to happen. Be open when you ask people of their opinions on your songs, but remember that all your songs aren't going to be as amazing as you think they are. Listen to people's advice, but remember that you're the song writer, not them, so it's up to you to change or keep certain things in your songs.

4) If you're writing for corporate worship (songs to sing in church) instead of for Jesus (missing the focus), you'll be turning to the Bible just for lyrics instead of life, and it'll lead to a shallow and empty life. Maybe you'll get famous for a few months, but then people will start to realize that there's nothing past the songs, no real passion in your life.

5) Really great melodies have repetition and then variation on that repetition.

6) If you leave your guitar in your case, 90% less chance of writing a song. Buy a guitar stand and put it where you spend most of your time.

7) For half written songs, don't force it (force a completion), but force yourself to keep going back to it. It may take years to finish one song.

8) Find someone better to help you become better. If the only person you see is yourself, you won't get very far or won't be as creative as you could be.

9) The spirit of fear wants to keep songwriters down, the spirit of isolation wants to keep you from expressing your talents/thoughts, and the spirit of comparison wants to keep you from sharing your songs with others.

10) The tip of the spear is YWAM' all here for a reason.

11) The trail winds blow, but it's up to you to catch it. Everyone's sails are different and not everyone will sail in the same way. A new season of creativity is here.

12) This is what the teachers told me when they prayed over me:
-That my words seemed tangled in my heart, and that it's hard for me to express them, but he prayed that God will release that and stir up the words in my heart. Also said that it seems like I'll write songs in a very poetic but different way.
-Another leader said that she felt I won't only write songs in English, but also another language (probably Korean).

Well that's everything I wrote down, so if you're thinking of writing any songs, hope it somehow helps, if not, thanks for reading? haha.

City Outreach

So this happened the day before I got my glasses, so was still blind. We had to go out into the city and tell people about Jesus again and such, so I partnered up with 3 Korean girls and headed out into the city. When we reached there, we prayed and to myself, I asked God to bless this time and to make it into a really good learning experience for us (because I still have no clue about this kinda stuff), then we walked throughout the city.

I was mainly talking to one of the girls about life back at home and such and when we walked for like 30 min, they felt like they really wanted to talk to this guy that was sitting on a bench. I couldn't see this guy until I was like right in front of him and he was a big guy...like fully rounded and had biker gear on with his motorcycle in front of him.

One of the girls in our group started to talk to him, and we all joined in and he told us that his name was Greg and he just got laid off from his job at the rehab center nearby. I told him about how I was majoring in psychology and thought it was cool. After going back and forth for a lil while, one of the girls in our group asked him if he went to church, and he said not at this moment but he used to, but then his mom and a few relatives all died this year and he just stopped going.

I then told him that my grandpa and aunt both died last year and about how, when my aunt was on her death bed, 2 hours before she died, she saw a vision of heaven and started singing at the top of her cancer filled lungs, praises to God. She was so loud that the nurses tried to calm her down, but she wouldn't, and then she went away peacefully. After some more talking we asked if we could pray for him and he said ok, so we all prayed and I ended off praying out loud. Now, I came into Fire and fragrance cuz I heard there would be a lot of praying, and I suck at praying out loud, so I thought they would teach you.......they dont x.x; So in my opinion I totally suck at praying out loud, like Im really good when I pray by myself and have a good connection with God and such, but when it comes to praying out loud, its just blah to me.

Well after praying out loud to him, he thanked us and told us that he really needed that right then. We told him to stop by our university for some of the praise times or to say hi if we see him again and he said ok. He was a really nice man and I really hope the best for him. Today I kept remembering him and praying for him, so I hope he's able to find another job and hopefully come back to church.

It was nice cuz it really raised our spirits and was a really good learning experience for all of us. We learned a lot from it and also remembered some stuff we should of said but didn't, but there's always next time, so it's all good ^^.

We're thinking for next week, that I might bring out a guitar, and everyone might just sing praise songs. If people come up and ask us what we're doing, then we can share the gospel in that way. So a fun filled way to evangelize to people hehe. Fun Fun Times~

The blind can see :O

So I FINALLY got my glasses xD Praise the Lord haha. It's so weird...everything...is so clear o.o;

I got them when we had a break in the service, and when I came back, instead of looking at the speaker, I was just looking around at the trees, the birds, and the sky and was like, "What the...its like that feeling you get...when you see HD for the first time o.o;" But seriously, I was thinking, "I can see all the lil leaves on that tree and that tree is far away!! AMAZING!!" haha. Like a totally new world opened up before my eyes xD. The world is beautiful T.T *tear tear*

Another thing I noticed, right away when I first tried them on and actually made me really surprised, is.....I lost weight o.o; Like my face looks a lot skinnier and smaller @.@;; The food here, even though it's buffet style, kinda...SUX haha. So far the best food we've had was spaghetti haha. All the food here doesn't match with my stomach either, so I find myself sitting on the toilet a lot, which is weird cuz I usually go like once every other day o.o; (probably too much information, but uh...tada xD).

Ya, so even though the food sux, I'm thinking of maybe shoving it down my throat so that I can gain some weight back. I think I've already lost like 2 inches off my waist x.x; But hurray for getting my sight back xD, pretty ecstatic about that ^^ God is good xD.

Shaved Ice

So I went walking around the town with a new girl I met named Eunice. We were going to walk to Starbucks, but ended up stopping halfway at this Shaved Ice place. Now if you dunno what it is, it's like they get a cup, put a bunch of shaved ice in it (ice that's blended) and pour flavored syrup on it to add flavor ^^. You gets up to 3 flavors for a small which is pretty nice (cuz the small is HUGE).

At this particular place, there was a ton of flavors, and I couldn't see, so Eunice was reading them out, then I realized how many there were, so I just told her to stop and I got the same thing she did haha. But my glasses should come in tomorrow, so I'mma be so happy and reading everything I see hahah.

Well here's some pics of the shaved ice:


It's HUGE :O! Just imagine what a medium or large would look like haha.




Check out all those flavors :O Totally looks like a candy store haha.



Sorry for the short entries, but don't have much time to update and such.

Kona United Methodist Church

This is the new church I've been going to lately. It's a really friendly place even though the Bible studies are a lil ADD-ish haha. RIght now I'm joining the Youth group cuz it's all in English, and the youth pastor is white, and the guy who plays guitar and leads the praise is black? not really sure where his heritage is, but lots of racist jokes thrown back and forth hahah.

The service is at 11am, so it's really nice. Most other church's services start at 9am, so while my roommates are getting ready, I get to stay in my lil comfy/not so comfy bed haha. There's a bunch of vans that come and shuttle people to the different churches, so mine comes at about 10:20-10:40am.

Well I haven't uploaded many pictures recently, so I'll upload a bunch right now xD. I took these pictures after the service was over tho, but maybe next week I'll take a picture of what the actual services look like ^^.

Where here's a bunch of random pics ^^:


This is the Youth Group Pastor right now named Henry ^^


This is the 13 yr old girl that taught me how to count in Japanese haha.


2 guys from the youth group that lead praise. The guy on the left is a really good singer and the guy on the right is pretty crazy at guitar.


The entrance of the church~


So cool how there's no walls xD. It's so nice cuz during service you can feel the nice warm breeze flow through the church ^^.


Yunjee, the girl from before, got bored during service and made the strings into hearts haha.


And me playing guitar at the front of the church for fun. For those who've never seen me without my glasses, tada~! Hmm, think I've lost some weight after coming to Hawaii o.o; Well my body, maybe not my face hahah.